its been more than a week or so since i last blog. Many things have happen.Mostly sad things.ON monday i went for nadiah's wake.ON tuesday, went to school at 9.40 cause i had crams. Wednesday the pe teacher bugs me like fuck! If running means not putting effort? then why ask me to RUN! freak! THursday was mugging for ss?! dam it. Today was the first day of the mid-yr, both ENGLISH and SS paper. TOTALLY sickO man! english is like a FAIL thing for me, sigh, and SS i dun noe? i juz crap all the way. Things juz went blank. I think cause i din have enuff sleep. But wad can i do? Then after school, [ suaty+el+farhana+waty+chloe+shuk+haz+me], we went to ang mo kio to eat parata. The one juz opposite XX's hse. We tried to call her out but she din give any respone. After eat, we all were waiting for cab which took ages to come. We headed to Nadiah's hse. We all think is juz right for us to u noe juz do hse visiting cause all of us do not want to end our relationship wif her family juz like dat. We talked and i was trying very hard to cheer her elder sis. I understand.My parents went to her hse yesterday and was told that they got to noe each other well. :) We left her hse at 8 and all of us headed home. drop dead tired.
happy belated birthday to you atiqah!
It took me a long time to write a post abt u, my dear fren.TIll now i really have not fully accepted. ur presence still lingers close in my heart. I noe i shuldn be thinking that way but its not easy to forget wad we been thru, the late saturdays where we will juz chill at our place, the starbucks till 12mids. U being my malay pathner who w/o fails always talk to me and we always get caught of talking. U teach me malay spelling and i thank u for that. There's so Many memories cannot be erase within one night. its hard. U left us, me, w/o even saying a bye? the last words that u told us was " sorry eh, i cannot talk to u all" wad was that suppose to mean? i took it that u dun wanna see us since u dun wanna see anyone. U din offend us in anyways cause we really understand u. But i juz miss talking to u, miss hearing u callin me fai zo sei, and i miss calling u na do dei. All i want is to talk to u. If i noe this will come, i will have stay longer for u. Its still lingers in me, ur image, ur last image. I thank the many who have been very concern abt me. From teachers to my friends. I really thank u for the advice that u have been given me, thank dawn bay for givin me "chicken esence" to cheer me up. Many more. I noe she is in the good hand, and no more sufferings. And i shuld be glad but it will take a long time for me to really fully understand it. not that i dun, no one understands. What i cannot take it is that i can no longer talk to you like before. I will miss all those times. this is my 1st time feeling a lost, a big lost . the feeling is worst than failing ur exams. All i can do now is give u my prayers. things will be diff now. till now i stop.
as i still cannot stop the tears;
in me. cause all i want is to talk to u
i really do.
)':