Sunday, July 31, 2005
well i did not blog yesterday cause reached home ard 11:45pm and was feeling very tired.... lets talk abt ystd..
before i went to siti's bbq, jo and me went to ass hse to get the guns.. i felt so toot ok walking ard town wif all the water guns... than there this small girl keep pointinh the gun to her parents... HAHA sorry girl u cannot have it.. BOO! than after that went to PS cause jo had to pay her fees and than we made our way to bedok... Once we reached there. called zj out to bring black plastic bag and we went to fill the water guns... heard that ms kang reached but when jo and me reached there, she went off.... HAHA! good thing...than zj took the gun and started shooting siti's.... STUPID!! we planned rytee....suppose to wait !!! why u start 1st huh??? than yah things get all excited and i was wig the biggest gun and shoot siti's and not forgetting auddy... blek! revenge!! MUAHAH!! than when all finished, i started to eat... as the sun started to set... things starts to settle down.... than at night i played this game DAM DEE DAM ..haha ok la... overall i kinda had fun...and wind was so nice...i did not feel liek going off from there....i felt that i shuld juz sit there for the rest of my life...i don mind thou... but well need to get home... so yah... KAK BEDAH stop playing wif my stomach LA! haha! she arh....thanks honey for the advise...well watever LA...my vision to it is that i am still fuck up wif her.... haiz... i dun noe...BUT wad i noe she is the angel and i am the devil.... haiz!!!
welll today had a hard time to wake up...woke up at 2... hmm.... shit lA i have lots and lots of homework still waiting for me to do it.... AHHHH tmr history's test...and i have not start my revision yet!!!! ahHHHH!! how how how.... well her bdae was ystd too...and i did not wish her....well i do not intend tooo... but than my fren ask me wad i am getting for her i told her i am not planning to get anything for her either... but shuld i?? i wanted to give her that but My angel say i shuld not.... cause she will think the other way... THAN!? hmm... forget abt it La.. i do not want to thning of anything rytee now.... feeling rather sicked in my heart..... urgh!!!
IF YOU ARE DISAPPOINTED IN ME???? HOW DO U THINK I FELT??? IT GOES THE SAME THING AS ME! LIKE DUHH....IT DOES NOT MATTER IF MY PERENCE IS THERE OR NOT CAUSE YOU WILL NEVER NOTICE ME IN A CROWD NOR HEAR ME IN A CROWD.. SO WHY DO U GIVE A DAM ABT IT!!!!!!
Friday, July 29, 2005
had PE after pledge and blz blz bzl... played soccer.. and yah watever watever WATEVER WATEVER WATEVER!!WATEVER WATEVER!!!!! than had ss ....boy oh boy...antonio was scolding the class...cause we did very bad.for me really BAD!! ahh... than... well had crams.... god noes how hard to get hot bag... thankz latha... than after school went for dental....and i have shuk to accompany me... well i got a new private doctor... my god..when i looked at his face i feel like punching his face...he is so creepy.. yuckz... than i told him that my previous doc. [ much better than him] said that u have to be more gentle.. than the nurse said... wah u have so many orderd ah girl...i rolled my eyes... like watever... not in the mood to crap along...so he was telling me that i need to pay for my crowing teeth.... and bla bla bla... and than he said he wanted to tell me the prons and cons BUT after which i realize that he onli tell me the bad points... wth!! so yah i needto pay $200 ..... bla bla bla... than after getting a knob knob on my teeth than i can home...dam! than as soom as i reached home... i decided to go to the concert after suaty pants and na do dei asked me... yeppie.. so yup yup... went there and BORIN!!! onli the school band was ok~ haha! auddy's face was so cram!!! like she was trying very hard to blow that instrument....haha! was laughing out loud.. speaking of which...i remeber.... something.... me, gene, haowei and elizebeth washavin dinner together in this restaurant while playing board games...a cool place to hang out but very EXPENSIVE! anw..while happily playing i got a phone call from an unknow no. unknown: can i speak to faizme: yahunknown: er... i am micheelme: huh? wad?unknow: i am racheal...me: micheal or racheal....[ feeling rather amuzed of this person dumbness]unknown: do u like anyone in schhol?me: wad does it matter if i don like or like? why u like me?unknown: why u so thinck skinme: well how i noe...[ cause u sound like it]unknown: i see u couples of time in school and shy to say hieme: er...ok.... call me back later ok cause i am in the middle of a game...
GUESSS WHO LA!!!!! hhahahah!!! when i get home i found out is AUDDY!!! AUDDY SIAO!!! SHUMEI SIAO AUDDY!!! hahah and yq, linda was also part of it... along the way i noe is auddy casue noehow she sound like.. haha!!! remimnd urself u can never be a good actress... BOO!! thumbs DOWN FOR AUDDY!!haha!! when i reached home...sis was in my hse...and she bought me....nike shirt... ulalal....
tomorrow another long day.... god....i hope the plan turned out well.. plz plz plz....
Thursday, July 28, 2005
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SITI!!!!!
hope u like the puzzle and pray ur bbq will be a
BLAST!
today was a good day and a bad day.... why...cause many things happened...the good thing was that today was siti's 17th birthday and durin my luch bitter,honey,sheer and me went to her class and gave her present... THE PUZZLE! and more...she seem to like it La and shee better be... than we procced to the canteen...and yah i had a good time kicking auddy's BUTT!muHAHAHAHA!!! finally ~~ lesson was goin fine..why cause ANTONIO did not come today...how wonderful...and mrs.kwok did not come tooo... BUT she left us worksheet to do..hardhardhard.... amaths was another thing i still have last week's homework still undone..why cause i do not know how to do!!! help!!! she gave alots and lots of hw LA! now she say we have to do online test and online assignment and she will keep track of our record!!! wah piang!
if that is bad ...something is even worst.... "my old friends" thinks i changed? why cause they say i no longer say hie to themand always seem so bz wif "new friends" or some juz dislike me because some fuckin bitch spread fuckion rumors abt me! u betterwatch it therre... u FUCKIN BITCH!!!! i noe who u are !! haiz.... how how how how how how how how how... zj i do not think my "water" is workin!!!!
i cannot be bother ~~~
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
today i did not feel like going to school...my whole body was so pian.. i do not know where i get the strentgth to wake up this morning and make my way to the depressing place..... i never imagine my life in sec 4 will be like this... all the homework is piling up like nobody business...when i complain to ms.Ho she will be saying is for ur own good girlds...bla bla bla...no doubt La....but there muz be a limit..and there still other homeworks...gosh!!! this cannot be happening.... everything today seem so rushing.... i was always on the go but brain was on the stop.... than when i did mly test today for the 1st time i fall asleep....and yah did not manage to complete in time.. as the days goes i felt more shitified.... wad is happening.....
i was perturb by wad u said today... i cannot believe things have gone this far.... fuvk up La.... why wuld ppl still wanna make up stories abt me.... can u juz mind ur own business...urgh!! i am living in a world where its full of dam it ppl.... some of which i swear to god i cannot stamd them.... they are juz pain in the ass... my god...words cannot describe how angry and sad and stress i am now.... how do i use the water to clear the fire... HOW!!!!
i am so depressed......
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
another cooling day....i like i like...... well today's lesson was ok la quite slack...except emaths...Ms kwok
go so fast La.... i have double maths for hw today!!! aHHHH!!! itz pilling up !!! aHHHHH!!!..... how to finish
40 questions of maths in 1 day?!?!?!
speaking for maths....today i get bully by lots and lots of ppl...namely MS HO! well she blamed me for swaping the period at the last minute....and she was jzu staring at me...like god noes wad reason.... than amy help me by saying " Ms ho, why are u angry at faiz onli??" thankz pal...but that did not help much...she keep startin at me..
of course i will be like er... wad zzup ms ho...than i cannot take it and burst out laughin....than the rest too....
wah~~ she tooo LA....she juz smile but trying very hard to control her laughter... i can SEE!! than according to
her i still dared to show " monkey face " and she wanted to hammer me wif my claculator... but i got hold of it in time before she can take it...blek!~ i think she is not right up there....
than stayed back in school till 6++++ and waty sent me home....
i stilll need u U U U U U U U U U .................TIME
Monday, July 25, 2005
wad a beautiful day.... nice and cold.... a prefect
weather to have on a monday.... but why will things not go
so nice as the weather...
i have been doing alot of thinking lately... and i came
to a conclusion...that is to stop all my shitified doings
and live life as it was before...cause seriouly i see no
point or what so ever in doing wad am i doing now.... cause all its gets me is trouble! nothing but trouble!!
moreover my life have been hell ever since.. therefore i came up to this decision....
i need u more than anything now.... i miss the slowlessness in u...... how i wish i can stop u..... have the power and strength to do juz that... i in need of u..: TIME
Sunday, July 24, 2005
being woke up by BIRDS!!! urgh!! they were chirppin and makin hell of a noise outside my window... excuss me... u are on my property!!! anw.. since i have got lots of things to do..i decided to get up... did social studies and than mum cook breakfast for me.... than while eating i decided t0o watch movie..look thru my dvds and decided on X-MEN 2 ... I LOVE IT LA!!!! night crawler is my man... he's juz a good man... AHHH!!!!! than i got ready for tution...haiz~ sianz.... i still have lots and lots of hw yet to do!! how how how...i need more TIME!!! i need TIME!!! i want TIME!!! going off now.... for dinner..byebye...
ANOTHER ROUND OF WEEK.... startin tmr...
TIME where r u when i need u??? u are always there when i do not need u...
Saturday, July 23, 2005
today was the best day...why? cause i was sleeping soundly..no one to wake me up..its weekend thou... AHHHH!!!! nice nice.... i woke up at 10.30am juz to watch pokemonthan slept back till 2... weee~~~ nice nice.... in the afternoon i watch wishing stairs...suppose to be scary BUT trust me iTS not...urgh... than mum came home from work andbrought food... yeppie~~~ ard 7 waty came over to my place to get her stuff... haha! shewas in a hurry to go to her uncle's place... well she juz stayed less than 15mins...
i still have lots and lots of homework still pile-ing on my study table.... its a drag to go open the book, read the questions and answer them... HOW?!??!?!?! i need motivation....
Friday, July 22, 2005
had PE for the first two period...all of us was lookin forward for the soccer match..but than we got to noe that we had change ourpe teacher to MR tan! gosh... faiz prepare for the worst... anw back to scooer...my team is made up of : suaty, nad, fad, zj,sheer, jo and me VS sookfung, linda, cherlly, ivey, amber, rebekah , helicia.... HAHA!! guess wad? me and suaty was playing rough.. we had plan earlier to push the biach and wallup we pudh her thru out the game and haha! feeling frustrated sheleft her grp halfway.... MUAHAH!!! we and suaty was laughing our heads off... zj and sheer and jo was doin a gd job while my goldkeepers was fantastic.. haha! mr tan invented his own soccer La...so stupiddd... but watever it is we WON!!!bOOOOOO!!! SHALALALALA!!! than the rest on the day lesson was slack EXCEPT antonio lesson la... duhhwho dares to slack on his lesson??? but again he gave us work to do and yah dats it.. than
After school went to town wif honey and heereen.... HAHA!! well i spent a total of $40 today... i bought rip curl slipers and spec and food.... all this cost me $40... i can onli go out after i replunish my money... than as soon as i am done in town i had to rush home to put my bag...than procced to school for speech day... had to report at 4.30pm so mafan can..heard ms kang was pissed wif sec 4 na cause all of us din come for 12noon rehersal.... who cares... anw.. while waitingfor speech day to begin which is like taking ages to start... i was talking to ppl ard me.. i mean i can never shut my mouth if not i will be so reckless... hehe.. anw.. the whole thing was ok La... the starting part was super boring BUT i learnt somethingfrom it... the speech i mean.. than the performance was ok... i love the moderm dance the best... she look so " drop dead gorgeous"ahhhHHHHHHHH she's hot hot hot.... hahah!!! weeeee~~ i did not stay on for dinner cause i have zj to eat my share for me...
while on da way home.. that bitch msg me...and say that i should not ignore her friends since her firneds did not do anythingto me and she told me since is her FAULT i should not give them the cold shoulder... hahah!! who cares... shut up bitch!!
i am begining to taste the bitterness in my life....
Thursday, July 21, 2005
i have difficulities waking up today... slept late last night.. today was racial harmony day.... well alot was wearin sari... wuuuu...i dun noe why but my friend told me that caue is something which u can reveal ur u noe wad...well i leave it to individual la.. haha i wore bagu kurung - guy version... but as soon as the whole rara is over i changed out... HOT HOT HOT!!! lesson was slack today...
speaking of which ....today was my oral... all of us miss 186 and we are running out of time... so i told them why not we take 48 than stopped at holland and take 111...but than things coorked up so when we reached holland we took cab...and guess wad?! the drivers do not noe how to get there...AHHHHH stupidd... but my driver was smart enuff to go his way than to follow the 2 cabs infront of us...can both cabs were lost and yah he reached there first... hehe...but all was fucked up la...cause we have not eaten plus the drivers was giving the attidued not my driver..so yah luucky for me... than once we reached there one of the teacher came up to us and give us the direction..BUT we decided to check out the canteen ourselves.i felt so aliented... gosh all the ppl was staring at us... stare what stare??? saw denish haha! my " childhood" friend...he use to be "hot" now dam ugly..show off!! so wad if u basketballer i care? than saw lyneet haha my primary shchool friend...suprisingly she reconginise me...talk for while... than i had to go to the hall..gosh!! QUEENSTOWN SECONDARYis so phetic... i was expecting air-con room??? guess where we had our oral?? in the hall...than we all were seated so near fromwhoever was reading the passage...and the timekeeper..is like less than 20 footsteps.. i felt so "malu" today was queenstown cumsmss cum queensway... smss was the 2nd badge to go ... i was the lucky first ...my heart was beating like madness... than afteru are done guess where u have to wait before they can let u off..i had to sit on a gym bench??? helo!!! so lousy school can!!!when my oral was over...i look to the rest and they were waiting for me to give a thumbs up or thumbs down.. well i gave thumbs down for me..than thats when i realize something.. he was there... well finnaly i saw u again.. quite miss u thou... after knowing u since pri 3haha!! i can onli see a diff.... u grew taller huh? before my turned, i faced nadiah and said" lets pray" than she juz smile..than i heard someone praying behind me... i was like backside La... so it was u la.... wads ur motive arh??? than before i left he smiled and i went off... glup glup.... while waiting for everyone to finish...sheereen, melissa and me ventured ard the school...well mel and sheereen went into one of the class and wrote on the board " BOO!" haha! than we went to their library and ardthe school... hmmm... no doubt their schhol is big BUT old fashioned La... ppl now use white board..they still using black board..the ones use chalks instead of markers..HAHA!! anw... after all was done we went home....saw him AGAIN! in the bus... wah piang! so his friend was pointing pointing... like shut up and keep ur fingers to urself dude..
JUZ PRAY MY RESULT IS GOOD.... PLZ GOD....
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
school was ok... i guess.... had emaths test and and lots and lots of amaths hw... i have yet to finish monday's homework??she will pile up more for me wad??? she say haha ! u deserve it since u din wnt to fininsh up!!!! wth!!! but no matterwad i still find her the best teacher in smss!!! hahaha!! love her to bits... anw... had rehersal after school....boy oh boy.... dam boring can?? chole left like in the middle of the practice... than i was alone and no one to talk to....dead shit! haha than i ran to siti and haha started talking to her.... aud since u are mean to me today i am goin to call u auddy auddy auddy auddy...blup blup.... she and xx will tell the rest to gang up on me wad? dun cheer 4 me?? bloody! fine auddy!!! dish dish...
well after school.... bitch msg me...and "explain" why she told on me? and bla bal bla...she say i was hitting on her like bitch! u are not pretty on the outside nor inside...ur life is full of shit! why wuld i be attracted of u?? why ?? i think itz the other way ard?? she say she has proves and wanna go tell ms kang??/ wuuuu scared! like i say u are onli 14 and wad morecan u do to me? wad a JOKE! bla bla bla... and than suddenly she continues by saying she noes i hate her and she noesi will ignore her and she say its onli a childish doing??? excuss me? not onli me? u too.... i mean u too play a part.. like duhh la... and she says that cause i noe deep in there she dun wanna me ignore her? like duhh rytee? BITCH! such a bitch!! urgh!! wadever la... suprisingly i am not affected or anything.. so i give u a thumbs down la!
I AM HAVING N-LEVEL MT ORAL TOMORROW!!! I DAM SCARED LA!!! why?? why?? why??BECAUSE I AM THE LUCKY FIRST!!! ahhHHHHHHH!! THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING!!!I AM SO SO SO SO SCARED!!!
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
a rainy day... how nice.... i love today's wether...so comfortable and juz relax...smelling the air was so nice..and 1 thing that is so wrong abt today is...it's a school day....should have been holiday today..cause its simply justnice to SLEEP!!! my day was rushing one although lessons seem so relax because there was SS test today and all of us had to memorize alot of facts.... i did not study yesterday night and onli started revise at 4.50am.. can u believe thati woke up at that time???? boy....i wanted to sleep back... BUT i have to keep on wif my SS....eyes were so heavy like bricks... because of this i did not perform well in school..felt so sleepy....
after school....decided to stay back.... had waty and kura2 to be wif.... hmm.. no comments...all i can say..things are gettingout of hand..than while waty and kura2 talk...someone came to me and say "haha! i noe u are attach" WAD THE FUCKIN HELLL!!! i ask who ? she din tell me who she thinks i am wif and i continue askin herwho told her the rumors she say" oh nono no one tell me i saw it wif my own eyes"??!!?!?!? fine.... than she say but i also hear someone say....and i ask her who she will not tell me....GOSH!!! if my friends heard that i am FUCKIN DEAD MEAT!!!! urggggh!!!! lost of words...
should i confront or should i not??? i fuckin hate her...gosh she is sucking my blood eveyday!!!
i asked the bitch this queston over msn " WHY?" "WHY"? AND SHE WILL NOT REPLYsee wad i mean when she is wrong??? she is fuckin scared!!!! i HATE BOTH OF THEM!!!!! URGH!!!!!
my heart is screaming and crying w/o ppl knowing... my pain is unbearable...
Monday, July 18, 2005
The time when i was feeling myself.. thinking that all was back to normal.... thinking that things are fine now...boy oh boy.... i was wrong.. i was given the happiness for a momment and that it starts again.... the crap....the fucking shit rumors!!! urgh.... like i say i did not even do anytihng to YOU! so buzz off... itzzit so hard to do just that..to stay out of my life? my privacy? If u have suspision of me plz come to me PERSONALLY and ask me!!!not going around and asking ppl some crap shit ... i mean if u want to know my life itzzin it better to come to me and tell meu dun need to go 4 the extra mile to find out abt me.... URGH!!! i am SERIOUSLY FUCK UP WIF U!!!I NOE U HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME SO CAN U JUZ TELL ME!!!!
one side of me is telling me to go and talk to you and ask wads ur fuckin problem...another side of me is telling me to juz ignore whatever u said and let it free....freee cause i am begining to immune to it.... BUT! this has affected my frendship...if this did not effect my friendship i dun even bother .....BUT now!!!! because of ur fuckin mouth i amlosing my friend... urgh!!!! urgh!!! urgh!!!!! WILL U STOP IT!!!!
well itzzit wrong to even put a java script on my blog? i mean i dun not want any unathorised to come and read my blog and makin wrong assumption!! because of that i have decided to take this action.... when i do not want to give u my passworddoesn't mean i dun trust u or anything.. itz juz dat i dun think theres anything for u to read nor see... URGH!!!!
see wad i mean i do this wrong i do that wromg... WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!!!!!!
A FUCK UP DAY!!!!!
Sunday, July 17, 2005
sunday sunday.... here it comes and goes... AHHHHH..which means tomorrow will start another week of school?? i miss weekend.... tsk... well woke up so late today... woke up at 12.55pm.... was sleeping soundly...when suddenly i remember i had to do a lot of hw... so yah got up...and refresh myself.... and attack the kitchen... than after 2 hrs later i started on my hw.... than at 7.30pm i had tution... it was ok la...manage to finish amaths and emaths hw...well overall my day was a rushing one thou i had time to watch tv for 3 hrs...hehe
st i l L th ink i nggg o f y ouuuuuu
a good night kiss is all i needed from you to me......~ ~ ~
Saturday, July 16, 2005
had to meet zj in the morning... to give her the puffz... suppose to meet her at 10.30am but i met her at 11.00am...well actually i woke up late...and took my own sweet time... than after bathing and getting ready to go off... my mum was still baking the puffz therefore i had to wait for it and watch my cartoon...: pokemon!! aHHHh i am deprived of cartoonthan aftre meeting zj.. i had to met waty....
Waty and i went to town... well our aim was to get birthday present.. but we will buy food? haha than waty was like "Faiz reemmber ok our motive comin to town to get present and not eating"i repilied " oh yah.... almost forget"went ard ard ard..and suddenly came to this choclate shop.... well dat decides... got her a choclate from germany...but is in a heart shape...and waty was sayin" i dun think u shuld give this choclate cause u choclate stands for love"i said" do i have a choice? its the onli thing that is cheap yet nice" so yah la... after that we headed to heereen. i wanted to show watythe slipers...want to know her opinon...but it turn out she say that sandals/slipers all look so market type.. haha! if angel hears this.. she is so goin to slap waty left and right.. cause angel has it. than we went to paragoon...to see how the new toy'surus.... dats wheni remember her present for that birthday person.... shit la! therefore waty had to follow me back hm and took the present..
At my hse... waty was listening to all the songs that i downloaded..and we had to kill time cause that party will only start at 5.00pm so we have like 2 hrs to kill... she told me to take 196 bus to get to the party and stops and the fourth stop...stupidddd its not 4 is 14.... watya and me was stuck..onli god noes where were we... we were lost ...and i decided totake cab aftre a long walk... and true enough we went the wrong way... and i had to pay for the fare cause waty do nt have any extra cash wif her... wasted my $10.... urgh!!!
once we reached there.... when the lift door open i saw all the food being lay on the table... than we decided to sit outside thehse cause there were chairs outside... i could see the food but i cannot eat them yet..the food is so near yet o far.. was waiting for that gabe and misha la to come...they came at 6!! arhhHH... stupidd.... than comes the bdae girl later cause shedon even noe that her mum is holding her this party..haha!! she did not even see us when she get there...and all of us were wearing black...like we planned already but the truth was we did not.... ALL was wearing black and gabe was saying " are we going for some furnel??' that set out a good laugh from everyone.. than yah we ate cut cake and everything... once that finished, i say can we go in cause i am feeling hot and need the aircon badly..so yah they follow me... hehe.... than once we wereinside , all of them decided to dance!!! dance!! aHHH i was force to dance but i din want cause some of her uncles was recording and i was feeling rather "shy" so i did not dance and sat at one coner and yah watched the free show... Haha!! she will pull me and forceme to dance wad? and say that faiz i noe u are not shy cause i noe u go to clubbing?? and i noe u can dance..!!! wth....i go clubbing??? how the hell she noe all this?? rubbish... when she said this...another freind of that birthday girl heard and she suddenly smile at me...aHHH than the bdae girl cuzz went beside me and said' why u not dancing? nvm i bring u to disco and we dance ok? set arh? i go tell my auntie to bring us?" !!!!!! hoi! for a start i did not agree? second u r to young 4 mehe was i think abt primary 4-6...and underage la... haha!! all of them was saying that he has a crush on me? than when he stop dancing i was like why u stop dancing ? go dance? than he replied" i leg is bleeding and i cannot dance" my friend saidso u cannot go disco la? since ur leg in pain...than he say " nono can can..still can go disco and dance... and look at me wif thisgrins..." HAHAH!!! that was so funny.... my friend was liek" faiz... stop it la..he's onli small... and i noe something fishy goinon behind my back" well i juz laugh... haha he has a crush on me...and all the way they were dancing while i juz watch...than went the watch strike 9 all of us made our way hm... wee~ wad a nice day....
*still holding on.... i do not know wether i should continue with this shit... the whole day i was thinking ... i bought u somethingand i hope u like it...meanwhile i will juz have to bear the pain... what shuld i do the let the micracle happen... i think is a wasteof time.... but i will try for another round....should i? i cannot bear this pain anymore.... thinking of this make me go bustedaaaHHHHHHHHH..... my heart is screaming wif its maximum voice..... but no one can hear me...my pain... why god have to do this to me?? why???*
Friday, July 15, 2005
Its here its here... smell the weekend?? arh... feeling it??? enjoying it??? ahhhHHHHHH.... BUt i was planning to stay at homeover the weekends..BUT i need to go to some stupid birthday party... actually i do not want to go cause i was foce too.. i seriously running out of ideas wad to buy for this gerl... ANY IDEAS??? plz tag my board to give me ideas!!! i have losta lot of brain cells cause i crack my head too much....and still have nt find the right thing to buy... i am in need of help here!!IDEAS!! desperate!!!!
lesson was so-so today... juz nothin much happening... during chapel.... saw u.... but u diao me... why? haiz... see wad i meanwhen u ignore me? i am trying hard here to be as patient as possible... than after chapel was waiting for the rest to fixthe puzzle... I WAS HAVIN HELL A FUN LA!!! haha... my first time fininshing it less than 2 hrs? weee ~ jolene keep stelaing my share..such a greedy piG! blek~ BUT we did not manage to finish it onli left the borders... but stilli had a lot of fun!!! thanz girls for the fun...and laughter...
than had to wait for her to fininsh her O'level listening compre.... GOSH!!! it was so late la... they only started their listening compre at 5pm?? well thanks to penny and bakyah they took turn accompanied me? haha had a lot of talking than FINALLY!!! she was done and we headed to town... went to forum toy'surus... i did not enjoy cause she will not let me touch any toys!!! urgh!! she was constantly grabbing my hand la.. this is my first time goin there w/o having fun ok?anws...we got her b'dae gift..and it was a sea monkey thingy?? i think is so rubbish...to me that thing look like sperms rather thansea monkey? serious! go check it out... i am deprevied of toys now... seeing all the toys makes me go crazy... ahHHH!!
I wanna wish ZJ all the best for tmr!!!! SHAKE THOSE HIPS GIRL!!!
stop that shit right now!!! like i say enough is enough... i noe what is happening behind my back.. i have my ways.... udo not need to roll ur eyes balls... i noe u are juz jealous that i took the 1st step before u... thats when u start doing ur dirty jobspreading the fires ard i am fucked up wif u!!! dun u think u are that great la... cause
I HATE YOU WITH EVERY BONE IN MY BODY , EVERY BEAT OF MY HEART
being dumfounded today... lost of words... wad gave u that idea? haiz... it was juz a number? and ideas went wild... VERY wild?! i do not know what to do to jave those micracle?? i am really lost... there is so much to think abt... so much that sometimesi am on the verge to kill my soul..... inside me keep sobbing.. my heart is always wet not wif blood but tears... tears that cannot explain how much i want things to go the way i had picture it to be.... why itzzit hard to say a yes? why ? why muz u make me suffer?i know when u say yes..things will be diff? that's when micracle has take place... but i have not seen the light nor the feeling of a right direction... WHY~``
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
it was all fine in the morning... i could hear birds chirping and smell of fresh air... it was so nice..pleasnt.. everything seem to be at the right place... reach school at usual time... i wasn't late nor early... i take my time... walking as calm as possible...first period was emaths.. hmm.. dang dang dang..dats when something HAPPEN!!! i repeat something happen.. why must it be this way?? why??? i seriously do not want somebody to tranish my image..enough is ENOUGH!!!..i expected.... but i still was taken aback at the fact that it reches to that place... i tried not to let that effect my day...so yah school was abit slack today.. chua din come for his lesson while malay was another lacking lesson... all i did was talk.... that is my profession....hehe... i couldn't wait for school to fininsh so that i can be free from the smss jail...
after school... zj, sheereen, jol, waty and me went to town... 1st stop was far east.. haha!!! had a good laugh cause i bring watyto buy ice-cream at this shop.. well all i could say it was funny... haha! hmm... than went to kfc to eat cause all of us were starvingthan we left far east and off too plaza sing... hmm..there i bring them to the puzzle world...boy waty wad mezmerize wif all the puzzles...especially the glowing the dark... i was too when i first steep into the shop... how i wish i have all the collections?my room will be the best man.... gosh!!! i want all the puzzles living in that shop.... except the puzzles that have dogs picturescause my parents will not allow to keep those... but watever itzzit... i wanna that!!! than after fixxing the puzzles.. frame it upahhHHHHHHHH....nice nice.... than soon... after getting wad u need....all of us went home... sheereen and me took the samebus..and yah all went seperate ways...
hahah!!! u fucking liar!!! now is my turn to make u suffer... well u play wif the wrong person dude... ask ur BEST FRIEND!and guess wad? she says she did not even contact wif her.... nor calls her??? liek what the hell.... and well again i went to askthe friend which u said she saw me in town?? haha! gocha..she say she din even see me??? haha and ur best friend say" dun trust anything that is coming from ur mouth" cause ur mouth is fill wif lies...lies that u make up to make urself feel good ..gosh!! even ur best friend say so...and for ur extra info...ALL UR BEST FRIENDS HAVE MY CONTACT ANDWE DO TALK U NOE?? so in another words we do conmmunicate and thats when u are in deep shit!! got u!
my heart is not itself now... it starting to react each time it meets ur heart..... i noe things will not change even though i try mybest to make it seem as perfect as possible.... what can i do to blow ur heart away... i am feeling dead inside... this shouldn'tbe happening.... i regretted how i treated u in the past.... if i was given another chance.. i would treasure u... like how i treasure my games..well i do not know where i am heading to... which direction to take? which one is the correct path? wad shuld i do to take the correct path? what should i bring along in order to prepare myself while going through all the difficulities that i face wheni am walking.... well it seem to be very long when i walked....and when i tried to take short cut, well that when i find myselfin a more serious position.... why because theres more than juz short cuts... thats fire...fire that can spread so fast.. so fast that everyone will noes wad am i up to... i am juz...longing for something.... something special....
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
well a tiring day... woke up like 6.25am.. again the trumpet was making noises..( my mum)shouting shouting... i wonder wether my neighbour can hear her screaming?? today lesson was kinda ok i guess EXCEPT!!! history...gosh!!! i dun even know what is happening in my history world??? i really need yanky to explain every chapter to me... haiz...
well i went back home straight away aftre school..had tution at 7.30pm... finally she come backfrom her shopping spree.... gosh i am dying wif amaths.. FInALLY!!! i finsh all the questions...9 questions...on integration...can i die!! urgh!! than did physice peer tutoring..wah... tmr i will have to teach jolene Ho physcis...lalala..the onli time i can bully her!! hehe..so fun..
today it seem that the big current had come to a calm pace..for the first time in 3 weeks i am feeling myself now..i did not hear any thunder that will hurt my ears..how i wish this will be for now....have yet to see....
what should i do??hmmmm....should i?orshould i not??
s t ill mi ss innnG yo u
Monday, July 11, 2005
well monday blues is in the air... the first day of the week.. 5 more days untili can smell the weekend... i dun even want to look forward for this week.. i have to endure things.. things i cannot bare to see nor hear...
today got shelling from ms Ho.. well i think it was our fault la.. first thing wewent for her lesson late...than all of us did not finish her hw... welli felt bad..but i sriously do not know how to do.. than the rest of the daywas sucky la... super hot... bad wether to study..but when i was abt to go home..it started to rain?! urgh!! wrong timing can...
goin to have test tmr... luckily they told me... cause i did not even knowgosh!! i think i was too distracted by what wad said to me... din even noticeKOH's big handwritting..
anw..after school my angel and i went to corro..to get something to eat cause both of us were hungry... than on our way back... GOSH!!! WE SAW SUMTHIN!! something that age 21 should not see... we saw a guy... along the houses and at one galnce we thought he was topless... than i look at him the secondtime... and this time... i noticed that he was ALL NAKED!!! i repeat ALL!!!i could see... the -d**k- gosh it was sticking out...than from far we saw sabby and haz and their friend... they were like shouting" faiz did you see that"??i was like DUHH!!!! GROSS!! sabby was like... we saw the back part of the guy and u saw the front part... i was like dats even more gross ryte?? and she say they witnessed himgot caught by the police in the shell... phew~ this is sumthin which happen out of the blue moon... aya!! i still the that man... naked.. gosh!!! help!!!
hiaz... it has been 3 weeks already.... why i still hear stupiddd things??why??? i did not do anythin to even give that impression... maybe before but not now.. i know the right path now.. i do not kmow wether i can still trust you? 1 momment u say sumthin... the next moment u dtich me? helo! wad do u take me for? a kiddo? urgh!!wadever itzzit... i shall continue hearing this shits abt me... by ppl whoare more shitified... it takes one shit person to noe another shit person..
YOU BETTER KISS THE HELL NOW!!!
Sunday, July 10, 2005
today...today.... was a slacking day...why?? cause i stayed at home..being a good girl... woke up ard 1++ cause i was force to drink cough mixtureby who?? by my MOTHER!!! i tell u she was pratically screaming...is like she was the one who is sick... the least she could do is to take the medicine and yah gave it to me... again the nagger is nagging..
as soon as i get ready...i took my mediator book and read!! YEPPIE!!! i am so proud of myself.... I FINISHED ALL 6 BOOKS of MEDIATOR!!! so happy..took me like 2 mths ..i break another record of faiz.. lalala.... than had lunch.... and for the next 6 hrs i was siting in bed and watching STARS WARS... whyso long? cause i wacth starts wars espiode 4,5,6 and the making...weee... i love YODA!!! haha so cute and handsome... haha!! than my mum was saying this while i was watching stars wars " wah!! u stit in bedand watch tv all day...next time when u grow up i think u will need to hire a maid cause ur hse will be in coma" hahah!! and guess wad is my answer to her?? i said... "no problem... i will look into it" she juz walk away... haha!! blek!
than now..i am stuck wif all my hw... gosh!! i need my tution teachershe is happy shopping in kuala lumpur... i hope she bring something forme.. cause she asked me..and i was liek " nah is ok..." u go ahead and have fun..than tell me wad am i suppose to say?? oh i want a digital camera?? a nike dunk?i think i will get slap la..
i think now my blog dam boring la... no one tags... but at the same time i wanna be safe.. haiz... stupidd jolene she will never tag on my board wad?? *box*
haha! she reply today... weeee.. but she is 2yrs older..and i noe quiet a bit about her... but i still think is a waste of time... haiz~
i am having a bad cough... well be prepare who ever is goin near me tmr.. gaga!!
well still finding my way...
if i leave to faith...
when will it get started??
the saying say god help those who help themselves i am helping myself but somehow god doesn't help me?
i need one...
drench in pain all over again
well i had to wake up early in the morning today.... it was a drag but i have to reach school by 9.ooam.. and i woke up at 8.30am..cause i slept at 3.30am.... my mum had to resort to screaming to wake me up..gosh!! than after i got ready i caled shuk... well guess wad...she say she juz woke up...and we like supose to meet??therefore i was 1 hr late cause of her??? while waiting for her i was wacthing cartoons... haha had a good laugh in the morning..
as usual lesson was boring... and what bugged me was that the security unlcl juz pis me... he have like gizzlion problmes wif me? why? i dun noe? when i turn on the fans in the canteen?? he willswitch it off?? everytime? i mean is not as if his pay goin to be deduct juz because i use the fans?? stupidd!! i so hate him!!! urgh1!!
than after the malay lesson... na do dei, shuk and me went to adam food court to have lucnch... than went home wif shuk...
well as soon as i reached home... i quickly change...i have to make my way to town... hehe.. i planned to watch fantastic 4...guess wad? it was fully booked therefore my friends and i watch war of the world!!! it was splendid.. i gave a thumbs up for the sound effect...it was surperb....accept the part where the girl was screaming...gosh dat was annoying... the rest was finethan after movie my friends and i wanted to walk ard and yah we did.. soon we wanted to sit and drink and i suggested TCC...hehe... i was schocked to see her there.. she was workin.. haha! today... thankz man.. finally i have it..and my angel say juz do it...so yah i did.. and the sad part is dat she did not remeber how i look like???? how can that be??? urgh!!! angel was like " please have confidencein urself" i think she is so true... than after awhile i went decided to go home?? cause i was feeling tireda few hours of sleep... well i found out something... haha!! it was so hilarious.. i never imaginethat is happening to u... haha i thought u were straightly go 4 girls?? haha!!! so funny...
today again i found out something... something that peeved me...
i don like surprises... which in the end will make me pissed
it has been 3 weeks now and yah... everyday i swear somethin new will pop up
i did not do wadever u think i do??/ i don go seeing my neos and say " i like i like" i mean
i put those noes i like in my wallet? and u have a problem wif that?
i trusted to u? tell u things? things i thought u can keep within u and ur soul.... boy oh boy... i was so wrong
u fuckin bitch!!! i swear from today onwards i , faiz will never tell me anything... i might result to not talking to u
u say u swear u din tell..and i still have the msg... guess wad? u told the wrong person?? cause that person happen to be my friend...and came to me and ask me and told me.... that it was UUUUUUUU
fuckin bitch...!!!! i so hate u now.... u are goin to get it from me!!!
Does mean i go town wif my friends i am attached to dat person??? gosh?? go get a grip!!!! u mean i have to go town alone??/ i don do things alone u noe? and wad will it concern u who i go out wif?? why u jealous arh i am nt goin out wif u? if so please tell me... i shall make a "date" wif U!!!
Friday, July 08, 2005
YESH!!!! YESH!! YESH!!!! now i can swear and curse individuals as and when i like... cause they dun noe my password....and i hope so... onli certain ppl whom i trust all my life.... anw.... school was ok i guess... time went by so fast... had physice test... boy oh boy... i was so in a rush!! mostly was drawing...and i hate them...urgh...
anw..today i had pe...we were playing soccer.... gosh!! i dun noe why each time when ther's game and we have to vs each other she will get so violence??? i mean is juz a bloody fuckin game wad??? u dun have to kick me?? on my leg??? on my ankle leg and leave a mark there.... initial i din wanna tell ppl that it hurts abit cause nothin to u noe... dragged... but when i was goin up the stairs...gosh i felt the pain...OUCH!!!! such an arse!!! next pe i shall kick ur leg...and let u feel the pain.... watch out... after pe well i was drenched.... wif my sweat.. haha! jolene was like " FAIZ UR SEWATING" hha she say as thou i have some sewting problem... i think for today i can seriouly say i have one... it was like a pipe being turn on... well i have lots and lots of hw.. ALOT!!!!! and my tution teacher juz left spore to kuala Lumpur.... SHOPPING!! while i am in spore and stuck wif my amaths!!! i dun noe how to do.... how how how.... die die!!! i am so fuck up wif hw.. alot..compo.... haiz..well i noe not onli me... but than again is my wish to dragged!
juz completed the stupid servey... i mean the question being asked was so stupiddd... haha!! thankz jolene for helpin me wif my blog again!!! haha now i seriously i can say wad i want...but juz 4 the meantime.... lets play safe ok... i shall nt go in ppl yet cause since they got so much time reading my blog and makin stupidd assumption... i bet they somehow will noe wads my password.. u shuld understand ppl who have no life...
well i think i noe who started the fire... and let it spread.... well i am telling u...ur doin a good job...splendid...
give u a thumbs up.... go and suck my dick if i have one.... go get the fact straight... by i think come foward to me and ask me the questions that u have been wanting to noe so much... and knowing my blog i bet u noe where to find me... such pain in the ass and sick in the head.... urgh!!!!
" in the mist of everything; leaves a devil in disguise
" she will take wad ever u like and make it her own
" ppl see her like god but i see her like bastard
" well i dun noe wads the problem
" or wad wrong doin i had done to her
" all i noe i did nothin UNTIL she does something to me
on the surface... i look good and calm and infact help to solve others problem.... but....
on the inside.... i am crying..sobbing..... onli me can hear and feel tears streming down from the heart
i dun noe why things have come up to this stage.....
why~~~~
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
well juz got back from town.... yawn~ anw get all the things done... thank you very much...
today na do dei went home??? she was so sicked... yesterday was jolene.... hmm wonder who is zzit goin to be tmr... than had to stay back after school for speech day's rehersal... was a drag... haha sook fung, chloe, jean and dee and me purposelly came late.... haha! than when we reach there... we juz sit... therefore we created a few confussion..and this teacher was scolding me and dee saying that " girls arh! u want to steal other ppl's award"?? both of us burst out laughing... stupiddd.... than had to bow like 90 degree gosh must well bow until ur forehead touches the florr? than when u shake ur hand to recieve ur award, u have to give a firm grip.. i am so goin to squeeze that person's hand!! haha!! it was so funny... than today had 3 test.... can die.... 2 of which was a surprize to me... cause they din even tell us b4 hand... hmmm....
Making known to ppl that all thanks to AUD that i have a song install in my blog.... THANK YOU AUD!! (auddy) blek~
"SHUT UP WIF UR FUCKIN MOUTH"!!! i heard it again!!
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
get well jolene....
well a screwed day for meeeee
a fuck up day for me......
i know what to do now......
haiz~
Monday, July 04, 2005
HAPPY YOUTH DAY!!!
well seriously speaking i do not even feel and youth day today. This was because the whole day i was thinking abt N-level oral tmr?? i seriously need to pass.. wif good marks... well had tution today... and had a bit of pratice before tomorrow... she said i did well.. how i wish this will be the say comments given to me by those unknown teachers who are going to mark me... i never ever been this scared for orals brfore... i didin't not expect this to happen... god bless me... my heart is beating against my body.... legs are trembling... palms are sweating.... mummy help!!!
anw wishing all the best for those who are taking their orals this week and next week. i noe how it feels but jzu hang in there...
well still no respone"
i dream that the respone was a no"
and i expected that"
feeling dead inside"
Sunday, July 03, 2005
I am so tired.. tired.... woke up ealry in the morning cause i have another round of tution.... at 10.30am. Till 12.00noon... how amazing... i asked her to revise wif me acid, bases and alkali.... finaly i know what is happening... i so hate that topic.... than was waiting for mum to come back from market to bring my food... than i continue reading my mediator 5 (haunted) and soon i stop to hvae my eyes rest... than decided to watch movies... so i watched camp blood 2 and elf... haha! elf was so nice.. and very touching... hehe.... than soon i continue reading my book and soon fell asleep... woke up at 9pm.. haiz... i cannot believe i am that tired... i have been speending most of my hours on sleeping... i think i am goin to limit myself 3 hrs in the afternoon and 3 hrs at night .. hmm... i think if jolene sees this she is going to scream at me.. hehe... cause this means she have to hear me saying the word " i am sleepy" like the whole day... ahaha!! than today i finished all the planning for the surprise... and now i need to get all the things and do it.. i juz hope it wil go as plan...
i think i am in seriously in danger... i want to turn back time.. i know that watever things i have done cannot be undone... dam it la.. why must i always be in troubles? i shuld have think thru properly and not just go ard like that... Oh man! how i wish things will be back like the old times?? like nothin has ever happen.. i know that that is not goin to be like it... but i juz hope to see a micricle... a micrcle that wuld change evrything....
Saturday, July 02, 2005
well nothin is up today.... had tution in the morning.. than eat my lunch.... now juz gazing at the computer screen.... haiz.... why why why why why why!!!!
MY COMPUTER HAVE JUZ BEEN ATTACK BY SOME VIRUS!!!
SPYWARE???
HOW???
WHY THINGS HAVE TO BE THIS WAY???
this month is sux!
anw... i miss talking and laughing... haiz....
Friday, July 01, 2005
I seriously do not know what is happening.... but what i think is things are getting out of hand??? LISTEN UP! I IMEAN YOU!!! YOU shuld know who are u ... watever i am writting in my blog doesn't even referring to u? If u are dat deprived of love and think that i am writting abt u?? go get the fact straight?? who on earth wanna write abt u?? i have bettter things to do than to actually write abt u??/ get a grip dude!!! On top of it, things are back to normal??? and trust me all feelings have gone back to frineds? just friends? and not more than friends... and dun think i wanna go back to that path any more.... i think u shuld get a grip dude!!! and stop telling ppl what ever happen in the past ?? cause like i say is over means OVER!! O-V-E-R..
you said that we shuld keep our friendship?? but now?? what is happening?? u ignored me? roll ur eyes on me? maybe even more than that?? is dat HOW u keep our friendship?? like i said is onli at that momment and dats it... i din dragged it on... tell me WHY?????
i seriously think my karma is getting bad to worst... i think i need to seek help from some professional... day by day i messed up things.... i din expect to do that, but well it turned out bad?? why do i always messed up things?? why??? it happen so fast that i do not know what to do??? everyday living cluless.... i tried to stop all the shits but it when even furthur.. even worst.. even harder to clear....
" my mind again and agian repeat the word WHY "
haiz~